


The Turkey Hitman

by Striderr (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Thanksgiving, alternative universe, au - turkey, everyone is a turkey, my english assignment, turkeys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:18:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Striderr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aph prussia is a hitman turkey. my english assignment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Turkey Hitman

Gilbert fluffed his albino feathers, perching in green crisp grass in a turkey utopia. His home was indeed quite the ideal one, filled with many others of his kind. Ironically, he was more of a black sheep because of his pure white coat of feather. All the other turkey had a tan-goldish color, in contrast to his white. For this reason, Gilbert was an outcast amongst his fellow turkey friends. Because of this, he picked up some very homicidal tendencies. Gilbert is a turkey hitman.

 

The bird's clientele are all sworn to secrecy, and not allowed to reveal the true nature of the albino turkey OR themselves. Gilbert's ideals are quite simple, he wishes to refurbish the turkey population by eliminating those who have corrupted their home. His people had not yet caught on his ways, much to Gil's surprise.   
"Foolish humans," He thought aloud, receiving an odd look from Elizaveta, a fairly close friend of his. She was the first of his clients, the one who jumpstarted his career and advertised his services in the darker parts of their turkey home. Elizaveta was practially a surrogate, covering his true identity from those who didn't need to know him.

When Gilbert is assigned a victim, he often shadows them before deciding whether or not he would take them out. Today, he had gathered that the turkey he followed around, Alfred, has overwhelming egoism.  
'Method of death, poison'. Gilbert jotted down in his notebook, his feathers grasping the large feather pen which had been dipped in ink earlier that day. The feather was the family heirloom, passed down to him by his father. Alfred would be eliminated soon, as wished by his client. 

Alfred thought he had many amenities, though it was quite the contrary. However, his observance skills were quite sharp, and he'd noticed Gilbert shadowing him hours earlier. He'd decided to play along with the albino's game, and use his own trick against him later down the road. The plump turkey that is Alfred, was quite opulent, and could either buy the hitman out of his job or use his own poison against him to remove any more threats to their turkey world. That way, he could take their family heirloom and sell it for profit in the Turkey Black Market. He gained most of his earnings there, and knew a few subordinates who would be interesting in buying.

 

Quite a plentiful amount of days later, Gilbert approached the plumper of the two.  
"Hey pal, wanna go hang out and grab a bite to eat? I know a good place a few blocks down the road."  
Alfred nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! Sounds like fun." With a big smile on his beak, Alfred asked the albino where and when. After a few seconds of thought, the paler of them replied and then trotted off after answering. It was, so far, all going to Alfred's expectations. 

Later that night, Gilbert slid a can of Dr. Stuffing over to Alfred casually, that was already open. The plump turkey chuckled, and lowered his voice. "Hey, if you want, I can buy you outta this job," He said, and then laughed and slapped the albino's back with his feathered wing as if he'd told a joke to keep the suspicion away from them.  
Gilbert nearly cried laughing, replying with a, "you think I'm low enough to be bought outta my own job?" and then calming down a few seconds later, realizing that the opulent turkey was serious.

Alfred looked around the restraunt before knocking Gilbert out, paying, and dragging the unconcious feathered bird out. He threw him in an alley, with a bit of effort, and then sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him back to his turkey mansion.

Two hands reached into his pen, and pulled him out by his neck. Alfred squirmed and squawked, uncomfortable with being handled in such a manner.   
"This was the one killin' the others," an old, southern accent, voice said.  
Another one agreed. "We should sell 'em!" The more elder of the two spoke, a small smile cracking on their wrinkled face. 

 

Alfred never returned to his pen, and was framed for all the deaths Gilbert was responsible for. Now, you can buy him at your local Walmart! Don't try to discomfit a hitman out of his own game.

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry


End file.
